vvhaleshark:

he’s schwimming

thewanderlustlibrarian:

elysedc:

The ultimate dad joke compilation

Reblog for “Robeneros”

Harry: Alright now we're gonna learn expelliarmus.
Some lil twit in the DA: but isn't that kind of a pansy-ass spell?
Harry: I have LITERALLY USED THIS AGAINST THE DARK LORD HIMSELF, TAKE A SEAT SON.

escapingintoabook:

socialjusticeprincesses:

mickeyblowsyourmind:

demonic-lionfish:

bluesigma:

healyshegemony:

the-uncensored-she:

magieundfreiheit:

micdotcom:

Alarming Whispers reveal the ridiculous sex ed lessons schools give teens

Follow micdotcom

WHEN WE WERE LITTLE SOME TEACHER TOLD US, THE GIRLS, THAT WE WERE LIKE FLOWERS, AND EVERY MAN WE HAD TOOK A PETAL WITH THEM. IF WE HAD TOO MANY WE WOULD END UP LIKE AN UGLY, WITHERED FLOWER AND NO ONE WOULD WANT US

Sex-Ed in the US is so fucking backward— misogynistic and homophobic.

^^My health teacher made the same flower analogy and i was really upset

our sex ed apparently had us putting condoms on plastic models…or bananas. im not sure which

Fuck, mine wasn’t that bad at all.

ffs, i went to catholic high school and sex ed wasn’t even this fucking bad

I always ended up throwing them for such a loop because they used the chewed up gum metaphor (a girl having had sex is like a chewed up piece of gum) and I’d tell them I don’t want to get married. I have no desire to get married.

Once during my last year of sex ed, my teacher told me I would change my mind. I told her that unless she could fix every disfunctional marriage I had seen in my life like my grandparents where my grandfather was abusive, or where my parents got a divorce, or how my mother hates my stepfather, I highly doubt I’m going to put myself into a legal contract when I can just choose to be with a person for however long the relationship is beneficial.

Damn.

Megara

We actually had a day where we were taught two of these, the tape and chewed up food one. It still terrifies me that was considered okay, especially because in the moment I just accepted it. 

transgalacticwanderer:

ayellowbirds:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

That pasta one is painfully accurate for me

Like…

Me: COOKS UP GIANT BOWL OF PASTA

My Girlfriend: Samantha

That is way too much even for the both of us

Me: The both of us?

< Looks over at the SECOND giant bowl of pasta I have cooked up for my girlfriend

SWEATS NERVOUSLY

any amount of pasta is the right amount, because i will eat all of it.

I feel this on a spiritual level!

shitshilarious:

queerqueerspawn:

james-tiqueerius:

queerqueerspawn:

glampersand:

glowcloud:

kittiesinqueerland:

robalyn:

the highlighted area is where Jason Derulo knows what the girls want. london to taiwan.

new york to haiti

greenland is right out

ummm no offense but new york to haiti should be measured as the area between the two latitudes, not the longitudes. this graph is incorrect and vastly underestimates the total region of the earth in which Jason Derulo knows what the girls want

Even measuring that way, Greenland remains right out, as does the entirity of Brazil.

Have we considered measuring by neither latitude nor longitude but in all area that would extend perpendicular from the diagonal of the two places?

There are many different interpretations of the data, and until more is available, we ought not conclude anything at this point.

In light of that, I posit this alternative map of regions where Jason Derulo is potentially claiming where he knows what girls want:

As we can see, if we assume that model, the vast majority of the area where Jason Derulo knows what girls want is either open ocean (the Atlantic, the Mediterranean Sea) or sparsely populated (the northern Sahara, the northern Arabian Desert, various desert portions of Iran and Afghanistan, and the southern Tibetan Plateau). Four of the ten most populated countries on the planet have no territory in it (Nigeria, Brazil, Japan, and Indonesia), and two which do have relatively little territory in it (the US and Russia). It is suggested that for all his boasting, Jason Derulo does not know what a probable majority of the world’s girls want.

Perhaps Jason Derulo’s intention was never to proclaim to be omnipotent to the interests of the female gender. Perhaps he was instead expressing his humanity, or the limits of his knowledge. I applaud Jason Derulo. Jason Derulo is not just another 2 dimensional character. Jason Derulo has depth.Jason Derulo has limitations and has come to terms with them. Jason Derulo knows Jason Derulo. Thats why he makes it a point to say his name so much.

urbancatfitters:

you had me at “hello” and you lost me at “i think your friend is cute”

phemiec:

I’m so impressed by girls who can put together a really cute outfit and do their hair and makeup really nice every single day like if I manage to shower and eat breakfast it’s a damn victory

writtenanddirected:

a new ask meme: go to my ask and paste the last thing you copied and send it to me without any explanation

eatingisfab:

im tired of school i wanna quit but its for my future. tough life.